Be Curious, Not Judgmental: The Power of Noticing in Embodiment
From Guest Contributor, Melanie Losacco, SEP, Somatic Coach
One of the questions that I ask a lot in Embodiment Coaching is some form of “What are you noticing right now?”
We talk a lot about the importance of noticing.
Curiosity is a must have in our work together. To be truly curious, we must suspend judgment and pause meaning making and just notice, wonder, listen, observe.
This process can be really hard. Our brains love to assign meaning and value to our experiences. This tendency isn’t a bad thing at all. We can create really beautiful meaning from our experiences, but it can also get in the way of our present experience. I’m curious to notice what’s going on before the meaning.
I’ll give you an example:
As I take a minute to slow down, quiet my mind (as much as possible)
and do a brief body scan,
I’m noticing that my stomach is a little tight.
My brain wants to do something with this information, it might get labeled as ‘uh-oh, I don’t feel well, somethings wrong’ or ‘I’m anxious and scared’.
And if I stay with that meaning either the story ends there and I just assume that’s what’s going on or, more likely, this ramps up the intensity of the feeling or thought that something is wrong and I start fixating on the sensation and trying to figure out what happened to make me anxious, which then makes me moreanxious. So much fun.
Instead of chasing that runaway train, I’m going to pause and see if I can sit with the sensation of tightness a little bit longer - with as little judgement or assigning of meaning as possible - just noticing the sensation.
As I do this pause, I realize that if I just notice the tightness without labeling it, the sensation doesn’t seem like that much. And then, I notice that my awareness expands to just above my stomach and there is some warmth. I might choose to stay with these sensations or see if there is anywhere else in my body that I want to be curious about.
How Curiosity Supports Embodiment in Body Liberation Therapy
By being curious, slowing down and just noticing rather than naming, judging, or assigning meaning, I am able to expand my capacity of this experience and not get caught up in a story or hyper focus on discomfort.
This process may seem overly simplistic and in some ways it is. And, at the same time, it can actually be really hard to practice this awareness and curiosity. It takes some time to slow down and be comfortable with the experience. Especially if you hold a lot of trauma in your body or don’t have a lot of experience sensing into your body, it may not feel safe to slow down and notice.
Or slowing down might bring on a sudden flood of memories, emotions, sensations that feel like too much.
Or there might just be numbness. All of these responses are normal and understandable.
These skills are not modeled, taught or valued in our society.
This slowing down and curiosity are practices you can do by yourself and in fact, that’s one of the wonderful things about somatic inquiry, it is something that can be accessed any time, anywhere.
However, in the beginning stages of learning these skills, it can be more accessible to have a guide to help you along, to remind you of the moments when to pause, slow down, and ask a different question.
We are social creatures and look to our pack around us for cues of safety and what I bring to our sessions is not only my experience but also my regulated nervous system. Being in space with another nervous system allows you to co-regulate and to potentially be able to access this awareness a little more easily. Even through a computer screen!
As we gear up for the onslaught of “New Year, New You” BS, I invite you to think about what it might look like to be deepen your relationship with your body, as it is right now. Be curious, not judgmental.
ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTOR
Melanie Losacco, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, offers somatic coaching to help fat folx get embodied in the body they have right now. You can find her here melanielosacco.com and on Instagram @embodiedmelanielosacco.
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